Our entertaining two hours of Impact begins with Cody Rhodes in the ring, cutting an emotional promo about when he decided to be a wrestler, how his father told him to only go into the profession if you're the best and to be the best, you have to be World Heavyweight Champion. Eddie Edwards interrupted this passionate moment with one of his own, saying that even though he respects Cody, he will lose their match tonight because beating Cody proves that he is the best. Bobby Lashley made an exception to that, cutting off these two with a statement saying that whoever wins tonight is keeping it warm for him, and that whoever wins will get hurt. Usually I'd hate that they've been opening up the last three Impact episodes with a promo segment, but this one was the best of the three, with promos that had conviction behind them and the segment in general felt like legitimate emotion radiating off of these wrestlers. Enjoyable to say the least.
Rating: 3/5
The match that kicked us off tonight on Impact was surprisingly one that the live crowd has been wanting to see for months on end, as "The Destroyer" Bobby Lashley squared off against Moose in what was a very physical and incredible match to watch. These two men definitely brought the best out of each other tonight, as these two had no problems just having a little more malice in their moves and a lot more athleticism mixed in with their exceptional realism and selling in that ring. Although I had a bit of an issue with Moose no-selling a vicious snap suplex in the beginning of the contest, throughout were moments I enjoyed, such as Moose hitting a senton to the outside, sending Lashley into a chair that broke upon the impact of his body, no pun intended. Both men kicked out of their own finishes, and each other's finishing maneuvers in this contest as well as each other's signature moves until Bobby Lashley went to the top rope and leaped off, catching his opposition with a spear for the pinfall victory. Mostly an exciting contest with a fun ending. Not much else to say.
Rating: 4/5
We cut to the back where The Tribunal was cutting a promo when suddenly, the feed phased out and left us staring at these three men in masks sending us a message from whatever room they are at using CCTV footage. These men in masks obviously have a very dark plan, but what it is, is certainly unknown because these presumable humans speak very cryptically about the future of Impact Wrestling and their intentions. Incredibly intriguing, I hope this leads to something out of the ordinary in every positive way. This has the potential to be a very interesting angle, whether that be for good or bad reasons.
Rating: 3/5
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are live from whatever studio in Orlando for the hottest talk show in wrestling today, the Fact Of Life! Starring one of the most ridiculous characters in TNA history, Eli Drake!
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Yes my readers, we are treated to another Fact Of Life segment, with his guest this week being none other than Aron Rex! Although the banter back and forth at times was very funny and comical, the piped in studio sounds were a bit on the irritating side after a while, which is my only complaint about this segment. EC3 entered the fray and attempted several times to goad Eli Drake into pressing the dummy button, until he finally caved in, causing a huge brawl on set as Ethan Carter took down security and punched Rex in the face to get to his enemy. Jessie Godderz attacked Rex from behind, causing this once comedic segment to become a haven for bedlam and violence between four men that have no love lost for one another. A very fun segment, albeit very much an annoyance at the start.
Rating: 3.5/5
In our next contest was a TNA Tag Team Championship match, as the Broken Hardy's were pit against the men who attacked them last week, The Tribunal in what seemed like a very trying title defense. Baron Dax and Bastille Baraka were almost successful in gaining their first titles in TNA, but as usual, Broken Matt and the nefarious Brother Nero used their BROKEN Brilliance and their premonitions to defeat their opponents, allowing the champions to be the tag champs for another week. After the match, the feed cut off and the lights went out in the arena. When they came back on, the aforementioned three men in masks appeared and brutally assaulted the Tribunal, leaving destruction in their wake as they gave the Hardy's and Reby a deathly stare.
Rating: 3.5/5
As per usual, when Maria Kanellis and her idiotic clique of imbeciles & retards make their ways to the 6-Sided ring, the show goes from enjoyable to a chore to watch real quick, as the 5 minutes or so that they're on screen feel like an eternity. It was the usual "I hate my assistant, let's humiliate this dumb human live on TV" shtick we get from these three hooligans every single week. Maybe there's a point that I'm not getting like I don't know, DRAWING SYMPATHY TO THE BABYFACE!
However, at this point you can't even make me feel bad for Allie, because she's such an incessant child that you even want to see her get pummeled. When you make the audience even hate the face in this situation, that's when you should really take a step back and most likely scrap this whole storyline before it hurts all of their characters' developments. Really, I want them all written off my television at this point, get them all off I beg of you TNA.
Rating: 1.5/5
Following this segment was one that was equally as hideous (in a good way), this time with DJ Z cutting a usual face promo until Rockstar Spud came in with a mic and berated himself, DJ Z and the entire crowd. Talk about a miserable human being, this guy might be the most bitter man in this company next to Billy Corgan at the moment. Unlike the contrary from most fans, I enjoy when Rockstar Spud is on screen because he's what a heel should be. His character is a man with no redeemable qualities that you would pay to see get at least a receipt for his deplorable and bitter ways. While Maria has "get off my television" heat, Spud has the kind of heat that makes me want to see him get savagely beaten, and that my friends is the heat you want to attract in this business.
Rating: 3/5
After an eventful Impact episode that has not felt like it's been two hours (more like one), we have reached our main event of the show. Cody Rhodes is the challenger, opposing the TNA Champion Eddie Edwards on the other side of the ring for this one of a kind contest. Even though Lashley vs Moose at the start of the show was exciting to watch, this one was certainly match of the night, as their styles meshed almost perfectly. There were many high spots, as well as holds that were exchanged between the two. Honestly a perfect blend of spots in the match if you ask me, because every move was sold exceptionally well, with no immediate relief after a high-octane shot which is not what you want in a match like this. Two athletes of their esteemed caliber should be able to put on a phenomenal performance, and they did just that. Neither man was able to finish the other off decisively however, as Edwards retained his tile by obtaining a pinfall victory with a school-boy roll-up.
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Immediately after the match, Maria Kanellis *sighs* ambushes Brandi Rhodes from behind while Cody is alone in the ring. It's one thing if The Miracle is feuding with Cody, but is Maria is feuding with Brandi, God help us all. That's all I have to say.
Rating: 4.42/5
Full Show Rating: 4/5
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Honestly I have no further comments about this week's show other than the fact that this show for the most part did not drag, and was left thoroughly entertained with a few exceptions. Really nothing else to say.
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Well, that concludes things for this review, I'm the "Local Hero" Cameron Mcdonley signing off. Goodbye everybody and I hope you all had a fantastic weekend!
